Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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