The maid of honor just puked.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
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