Swine flu is the new snow day.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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