Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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