I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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