After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
