He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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