forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
