I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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