I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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