i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize