Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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