she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
