apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
