Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
