I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
