"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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