Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
