Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was born a porn star she said
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
