For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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