matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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