I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
