So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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