I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
