Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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