At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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