So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
