I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
