no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
