My hand turned me down
Just cropdusted the office
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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