at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
