Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
