So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
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I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
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I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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