No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
