One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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