Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
They took my balls.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
