sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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