i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
