i wish starbucks made bloody marys
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
