I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize