What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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