Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
