Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day