guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
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OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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