Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
