3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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