um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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