May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
