Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
