Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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