Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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