in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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