he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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