Barsexuality is the new black.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
