You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize