You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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