His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
