yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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