Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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