I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
